One year later...

Last year, it all began. The new mindset of wanting a relationship. I may never know where it came from; heart or mind, but I do know that it has been a painful year. With the next generation having their prom now, it brings up hard memories of the past, the current situation of the present, and the possible excitement and fear of the future.

It feels strange to have the next generation having their prom, when mine feel as if it was just yesterday. Feelings of numbness and confusion are overwhelming, but I feel as if I am maturing Lang with the growth of time. 

I wish the best to all those going to prom today, and hope they live their lives well. 

The First Crush Never Really Goes Away...

Its hard. It really is, especially when you still have to learn to move on and try to forget the past. The problem is, I'm not sure if I want to forget it. I still see her pictures, and what she does, etc... And I still have that yearning to be by her side, knowing that she probably hasn't thought of me for almost a year. It hurts, but life goes on.

The future

Who am I? What will I be?
When I leave into the world, when I leave my family,
The sun rises on a brand new day,
Yet I cannot see the shore of the other side of the bay,

What will I do? What will I become?
Schools, Careers and jobs,
Unknown for me,
Where will this confusion stop?

Sometimes an adventure, and sometimes a curse,
Where will the wheel stop? No one knows,
Even my heart is in confusion,
And as well, my soul,

Yesterday is the past, tomorrow the future,
One cannot control either, so live today: the present,
Forget about the venom, the addiction of lies,
Live your life today, and the rest will just fly!

Is it possible to be to nice? -Opinion

Yes. After asking multiple girls, guys and even looking into myself, being too nice is defiantly an issue when seeking a relationship.

With that being said, don't change who you are! If you are a nice person (like me) then just be yourself! Why pretend to be someone you arn't? Sure, many girls like "bad boys" but that is because they show an amazing amount of confidence. So basically, remember to stand up for what you believe in, and you should be alright ;^)

My experience thus far with Love and relationships

It really is an "over complicate" story for me. So far, I feel as if I have been teased by love. In grade 12, I had my first crush. When prom came around, I was stupid and never asked her out. We both went alone, and the same with after prom (we both stayed in the same cabin too.) When I finally shared my feelings with her, being totally honest and asking her out, it was too late. I had to go to my DND course, and she was getting ready for university. to this day, I still feel the pain and sadness from not asking her. I let myself down, and I can't forgive myself for that.

In my victory lap in high school, I thought I finally got over the hardness of love when i fell for someone else. We were both in the same club and everything. This time, I would consult my friends about love before I asked her out. Just when I was about to open my mouth, one of my closest friends said that HE loved her and was about to ask her out. All my friends supported him, and I made another stupid move: I didn't say anything. For the next few months, I died inside as I watched him and her both "try it." When it didn't work out, I was honest with both of them, and felt like I missed the train, again.

I then had a few smaller "sorties" after that, asking a few friends out here and there. Still, no success. They would always give an excuse, such as: Oh, i'm to busy" or "Your not my type" or "I'm interested in someone else" and many, many other statements.

Most recently, I asked my one new friend out. She was literally the girl of my dreams. Kind, beautiful, from another place and had that "passion" for life. Just before I was going to causally ask her out, she began to rant on how "[she] didn't believe in relationships" and how "[she doesn't] want a relationship and [doesn't] have the time" and so on. This discouraged me, so stupid me, I didn't even try and backed off. next week, I find out that she is on her fifth date with another person. Am I doing something wrong?

There's been a few more things here and there, and most recently, I thought I could ask this other friend of mine out, but it wouldn't work. I don't know anymore.

I know I am young, and there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I just honestly don't know what to do anymore. Love sucks... Everyone I know or have even heard of me always says that "You are the nicest, funnest and bestest dude ever!" and "Whoever you date is one lucky gal!" but then why hasn't anything happened? Meh, I am 18 and about to go off to Uni/college. I guess we will have to see where life goes.