It really is an "over complicate" story for me. So far, I feel as if I have been teased by love. In grade 12, I had my first crush. When prom came around, I was stupid and never asked her out. We both went alone, and the same with after prom (we both stayed in the same cabin too.) When I finally shared my feelings with her, being totally honest and asking her out, it was too late. I had to go to my DND course, and she was getting ready for university. to this day, I still feel the pain and sadness from not asking her. I let myself down, and I can't forgive myself for that.
In my victory lap in high school, I thought I finally got over the hardness of love when i fell for someone else. We were both in the same club and everything. This time, I would consult my friends about love before I asked her out. Just when I was about to open my mouth, one of my closest friends said that HE loved her and was about to ask her out. All my friends supported him, and I made another stupid move: I didn't say anything. For the next few months, I died inside as I watched him and her both "try it." When it didn't work out, I was honest with both of them, and felt like I missed the train, again.
I then had a few smaller "sorties" after that, asking a few friends out here and there. Still, no success. They would always give an excuse, such as: Oh, i'm to busy" or "Your not my type" or "I'm interested in someone else" and many, many other statements.
Most recently, I asked my one new friend out. She was literally the girl of my dreams. Kind, beautiful, from another place and had that "passion" for life. Just before I was going to causally ask her out, she began to rant on how "[she] didn't believe in relationships" and how "[she doesn't] want a relationship and [doesn't] have the time" and so on. This discouraged me, so stupid me, I didn't even try and backed off. next week, I find out that she is on her fifth date with another person. Am I doing something wrong?
There's been a few more things here and there, and most recently, I thought I could ask this other friend of mine out, but it wouldn't work. I don't know anymore.
I know I am young, and there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I just honestly don't know what to do anymore. Love sucks... Everyone I know or have even heard of me always says that "You are the nicest, funnest and bestest dude ever!" and "Whoever you date is one lucky gal!" but then why hasn't anything happened? Meh, I am 18 and about to go off to Uni/college. I guess we will have to see where life goes.
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