Why is it so damn hard?

I want to ask her out, but I don't know how to. Is it fear? Confusion? I am not too sure of the answers that I seek. I know I have learned from the past to take a chance, but should I? Or have I learned anything in the first place? Why am I so confused and outright questioning myself? What shall I do?

One year later...

Last year, it all began. The new mindset of wanting a relationship. I may never know where it came from; heart or mind, but I do know that it has been a painful year. With the next generation having their prom now, it brings up hard memories of the past, the current situation of the present, and the possible excitement and fear of the future.

It feels strange to have the next generation having their prom, when mine feel as if it was just yesterday. Feelings of numbness and confusion are overwhelming, but I feel as if I am maturing Lang with the growth of time. 

I wish the best to all those going to prom today, and hope they live their lives well. 

Building and destroying friendships: Is it really just life? Or something else?

It happens. You have a group of friends, and everything is awesome and amazing, and then someone says something that someone else doesn't agree with. People take sides or make someone an outcast, and then the entire group eventually breaks down.

Its life. Learn to cope with it; move on with your head raised to the sky. I will say, however, it does suck. You want to make things better and what not, but sometimes, things just happen and you need to move on to greater things.

Jealousy? Lust?

I know it is a random post and all, but I think after all this time, I have felt jealousy. When I look at the ones I love and want to be with, I feel the oddest sensation in my heart. I am happy to be there with them, yet feel farther than ever. It doesn't matter if they know your feelings or not, you see or hear them hanging out with others and your heart starts to beat in a pattern you are not used to. You long to be with them, but you are an electric car without a battery; you can not go anywhere with them. It is OK to be in the friend zone, you get used to it, but this new emotion of 'jealousy' is so hard to get rid of.

This also leads to lust. You really love the person, yet you also love their body. This is beautiful, yet it becomes a problem when you barely know the person, yet you love their body. This is setting yourself up to be hurt in the end. Unless you act from your heart, your eyes will probably get you no where.

In conclusion, just be yourself. The person who you are not with are missing out on the best thing in the world: YOU! Live your own life. While it is OK to feel lust (its natural, especially for us teens) just go wioth the flow of life, and don't let negative feelings control you.

WTF does drama in life exits (guys point of view) -PG rated rant

Honestly, why does the entire idea of "drama" even exist. I recently had one of my first "real" experiences of drama when a girl I knew became pissed off at me for no reason. I really don't understand why people would just create all of this "drama" for no reason, yet there has to be a reason. Is it for attention? solving personal problems? I could not answer those very questions, but I do know my opinion, and that is know it the fu*k off. Don't spend your precious time in life trying to mess up others friendships and lives. Just live your own life. If you have a problem, talk about it as an adult instead of getting all pissy and making rumors up, or just get out of my life. Its that simple. Everyone has their OWN life. Live yours.

Now, you never rally know what can be going on in the person's life. They could be having trouble at home, or some reminders of a hollow past, yet it is never too late to start a more positive future. Live in the present, cherish your life experiences and most importantly, cherish your friends; live your life.

Why am I so nice to people?

Sometimes, It feels like a curse. Being too nice makes me basically throw myself under a bus for another, or being almost instantly 'friend zoned. It sucks, and sometimes, it does feel like good guys finish last, but I don't change, because I know that I have to be myself.

I know for a fact that I have to 'grow a pair' and what not, but I know I shouldn't change who I am just for other people. I will continue to be myself, and you never know, one day...

Friend Zone: woop

Like Maverick in Top Gun and the 'Danger Zone' The friend zone can be one of 'those' places that can be nice, but also a curse.

Many people wonder how to avoid it, or even get out of it, but I personally don't see it that way anymore.  too used to think those thoughts "oh, how terrible is this! I want to 'be' with her, yet she only friend zones me!" With time, I guess I've just learned to loose that kind of thinking? If a girl or guy friend zones you, its because they DO like you, but as a friend! Sometimes, you are just needed as a friend, plus they probably don't have the same lovey-dovey feelings for you, so why wait for someone who doesn't share the same feelings? Just accept it, and understand that there is something even BETTER out there for ya!

Never forget your friends.

Very wise words. You never know when you will need them. With that being said, you never really do know who your TRUE friends are until you are in the position when you need them the most. Always love your friends, and they will return the love tenfold.