Growing up - Its a trap

It really feels that way sometimes  Friends move away to schools, people have work; jobs, and the drama as well as the events in life start to take over.

Sometimes, I just want to tell my younger self to enjoy being young, but I must admit, being older does have its perks ;^)

Why am I so nice to people?

Sometimes, It feels like a curse. Being too nice makes me basically throw myself under a bus for another, or being almost instantly 'friend zoned. It sucks, and sometimes, it does feel like good guys finish last, but I don't change, because I know that I have to be myself.

I know for a fact that I have to 'grow a pair' and what not, but I know I shouldn't change who I am just for other people. I will continue to be myself, and you never know, one day...

Friend Zone: woop

Like Maverick in Top Gun and the 'Danger Zone' The friend zone can be one of 'those' places that can be nice, but also a curse.

Many people wonder how to avoid it, or even get out of it, but I personally don't see it that way anymore.  too used to think those thoughts "oh, how terrible is this! I want to 'be' with her, yet she only friend zones me!" With time, I guess I've just learned to loose that kind of thinking? If a girl or guy friend zones you, its because they DO like you, but as a friend! Sometimes, you are just needed as a friend, plus they probably don't have the same lovey-dovey feelings for you, so why wait for someone who doesn't share the same feelings? Just accept it, and understand that there is something even BETTER out there for ya!

Alone

It feels very sad

       The other half not yet here

                Wish it was here now

What is love? Really?!

It feels like an impossible question to answer, yet it remains lingering on the mind.

Just like that Haddaway remix of "what is love..." really, what is it? Everyone seems to have their own answer. Scientists believe it is a mixture of hormones and chemicals in the brain, giving one the drive to mate, and stay with a certain individual. A more religious person such as a priest may tell you that love is god inside you, showing you your destiny, and who your true love is in gods plan. Between these two ideas, there are an infinite amount of other hypothesis's that try to explain the various waves of emotions that overtake the mind when you feel love.

I come to believe that only the individual can create their own idea on what love is, so I am going to try and share mine. To me, love is something absolutely beautiful. It might be hard to explain, but you just know it is love. As a young seventeen year-old, I don't believe I have felt the true feeling of love (besides my wonderful family) yet, I know it is somewhere out there. At times, it feels like love teases me, with couples kissing and snuggling in front of me all the time, yet I know that my turn to feel love is out there. Love isn't lust, yet the opposite. You may or may not also be attracted physically, but there is that underlying feeling that is hard to explain. It's when your heart wants to jump out of your body and scream to the world "I love you for being you!" It's when you feel happy, and you are meant to be happy; you know it.

The First Crush Never Really Goes Away...

Its hard. It really is, especially when you still have to learn to move on and try to forget the past. The problem is, I'm not sure if I want to forget it. I still see her pictures, and what she does, etc... And I still have that yearning to be by her side, knowing that she probably hasn't thought of me for almost a year. It hurts, but life goes on.

Never forget your friends.

Very wise words. You never know when you will need them. With that being said, you never really do know who your TRUE friends are until you are in the position when you need them the most. Always love your friends, and they will return the love tenfold.

Gender: What is it?

The human experience seems to always be divided into two separate "sides." You always have light and dark, day and night, good and evil, love and hate, and of course: male and female. I just find gender an interesting topic to discuss due to how much it actually effects the lives of every human being, yet it is something that it is never really talked about in depth because it can sometimes feel like a "social taboo."

It doesn't matter if you are male, female or anything in between, you are a human being. One of the most amazing things about being a human being is the idea of diversity. We would never survive without it, both physically, and spiritually. No one is better at being you than you.

Today, society has created three different categories of gender: male, female and other. Both the male and female genders are completely based biologically, yet the third category: other, which includes transsexuals, etc... Is not based biologically, but on a sense of self-thoughts.

Men and women are different biologically due to evolution of the human species. In religious texts, females were created by a rib of man, yet all stories point to there being a clear boundary of what a male and female are. Men crave woman, and woman crave men and both reproduce. Other couples such as those that are gay, surround others with happiness.

Is there any shame in a woman wanting to be a man for a day, or a man a woman? I believe no. In the matter of fact, I think that it is a beautiful idea, which could encourage tolerance, and a new sacred bond between the genders.

In the end, we will always need two half's to make a whole, but that is also the beauty of life.

Please answer: Why?

The one question on my mind is why. Why would you, after all this time; after all the good memories and gifts, would you just throw our friendship out the window, and accuse me of something I never did, and sick your boyfriend on me? Why?

When I first met you, you were somewhat alone, yet beautifully innocent. You were new to our country, and I showed you kindness and loved you when others did not. Why then, did you forget this act of selflessness? Why?

I then introduced you to much of our country, I even introduced you to many new things and experiences. We both laughed, smiled and had fun. The wind full of our laughter. Yet you simply let these memories drift away in the wind. Why?

I introduced you to a new, loving group of friends, and together, we all went out to lunch, had good times, and created many good memories and pictures that will never leave, yet you somehow forgot about these too. Why?

You got a boyfriend. I was really happy for you. I gave you guys space, respect for both of you, and my blessing as a friend. I even put a fake smile on my face for when you both kissed in front of me. But you threw all of this out the window. Why?

I shared all of my feelings with you. You knew my feelings for you, and we helped each other in tough times, but you block these memories. Why?

Here I am now, broken on the floor and cornered. You blamed me for saying something I never did. I have witnesses, my self-confidence and a thousand other things to prove I am in the right, yet you don’t believe me, after all we have done, you avoid me, you are afraid of me, you hate me. To you, I am a disease; a plague. I am your worst nightmares come true. You never look me in the eyes. Even our mutual friends want to talk to you about how I am innocent, yet you ignore them as well as my thoughts. It is unfair, and evil. You drown me in my own thoughts, and silence my soul. As you abandon me and you friends for your new life with your boyfriend, your world, I can only ask you one question from my heart. It is the only question I can fathom to believe in any more. The only thing on my mind, moon after moon after moon. Why?